One of the things that I get emails about most often, (besides couponing questions) are questions about my divorce. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you know that in 2009 I got divorced from my husband of 7.5 years. In the aftermath we were forced to come up with a joint custody schedule that works for the both of us and the kids. I thought I’d share with you our arrangement, because I know that navigating kids schedules amidst going though a divorce is rough (divorce IS hell, btw).
Both my ex-husband and I were committed to making the transition as seamless for the kids as possible, which is why I continued to live with him for 9 months AFTER our divorce so our son could finish Kindergarten year without interruption. (Not sure if I recommend that..but anyway
My ex-husband is in the Coast Guard and stationed on a boat, which means he leaves for 2-3 months at a time. During those times I have the children full time, however, when he is in port, we share custody 50/50 and split it up during the week. The fact that we live in the same town makes it a lot easier, kids can take the bus to either my house or the ex’s house and in the event that they forget something at our house, we can quickly drop it off at school or the ex’s.
A typical two week period looks like this:
Chrystie: Mon, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Ex-Husband: Wed, Thursday
Ex-Husband: Mon, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Chrystie: Wed, Thursday
Apart from that, we rotate holidays. So one year I’ll have the kids for Thanksgiving & not Christmas and the following year, I’ll have them for Christmas and NOT Thanksgiving.
Regardless of what joint custody arrangement you end up using, it will take some getting used to. I remember the first night without my kids, having dinner in my apartment in complete silence and thinking..is this it? Where is the noise? Where is the laughter? But now that I’ve grown accustomed to the schedule, it’s easier to manage and I take advantage of the days without the kids to catch up on my life, which can be hard at times, when you are a mom.
Each Thursday, I’ll be bringing you an article on divorce, if you have a specific topic that you’d like me to cover, please shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. All information I receive will be kept confidential.